Depression and Anxiety from an Insider’s Perspective (part 2)

Posted on 01/22/2006. Filed under: Uncategorized |

(cross posted @ My Left wing, Refinish69,Booman)

Well, the best news is that I am still alive. I am slowly getting my life back and working towards being a functioning human being. I am seeing a wonderful psychologist who is not only helping but also makes me laugh. I have to tell you about his office bathroom. You walk into this beautiful bathroom with formal wallpaper, an elegantly framed quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson and several different scented soaps made with natural oils and ingredients and then you see a collection of photo prints of animal butts on the wall by the toilet. I laughed so hard I almost made a mess. LOL Anyone who needs referral to a good therapist in the Austin area can contact me and I will be glad to refer you.

Now to the nuts and bolts of this. The anxiety attacks are becoming fewer and fewer. I am learning techniques to recognize the onset of an attack and what to do to minimize the attack and it’s affects. Some of the techniques are as simple as deep breathing and some are more complex when I am in a situation where I can use them. I do not advise closing your eyes and visualizing when driving. LOL Let me say one thing here. My therapist has never said calm down and relax to me. He has given me tools to help me find relaxation while accepting and even experiencing the anxiety. There are still days I can not get out of my house but they are becoming fewer and fewer as I accept the fact that I have to do something each day even if it is as simple as walking down the street to check my mail. I am trying to get back to walking the dogs each day but haven’t quite made it that far. Thank goodness for a doggie door and a big back yard for the Diva Dogs.

Depression is still a major part of my problem and I am slowly dealing with that also. I am writing a personal journal and reliving some major points in my life for a 3rd, 4th, or even 10th time, but that is part of the healing process for me. I am writing out my anger, frustration, sadness, fears and even asking questions I have never been able to ask before much less answer. I might not have all the answers yet and probably never will but I am working on them. The crying jags have slowed considerably. The crawling in bed and hiding has stopped except for the occasional nap that only last an hour instead of 8 hours.

I have restocked my kitchen with food!!! I know have healthy food I can either cook, defrost or slap together rather quickly. I still have some junk food once in a while when I have no desire to cook but am getting better at making healthier choices even in that.

I am seeing my physician every two weeks to monitor my adjustment to the lexapro and also running other test to rule out anything else. I have been a good boy and only missed taking my lexapro once and for me that is a miracle as I hate taking medicine of any kind.

Through the blog network, I have shared my problem with thousands and have received nothing but support and love. It has helped more than anyone can ever guess. I do not suggest blogging this issue for everyone. I know some can not do to job or family. I do suggest getting help and reaching out to friends. If you are having anxiety or depression that is interfering with your normal routine, get help. There is nothing wrong with admitting something is beyond your control.

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